I really enjoy reading your blog, interesting and entertaining.I am so sorry for all you medical problems. I dont mean to be rude and I see how protective your daughter is of you as she should be but have you ever considered mental health counseling? hypochondriac comes to mind. i am in thehealth care field a nd have seen many patients like you. i may be wrong and i appologize for that but you seem like such a caring person. i too love animals and see you are concerned. i know first hand what its like to live with a chonically ill person and i know that its not fun and a lot of times you just feel so much frustration and anger even though its not your fault. if i am wrong i applogize but youhave had so many near death medical problems, I would think that if you are under the care of so many doctors that maybe they could find these things before they get to the point where you suffer so much, or maybe they arent very good practioners, at which point if that ws the truth, i woudl find better caregivers. life isso much fun when you arent so sick all the time. im sure you know. relationships also are better. you poor daughters, they have been through so much with their mama being sick all the time. I hope and pray that this lap band surgery goes well for you, i hope that all your medical problems resolve and that you are hppier because that is what everyone deserves. i hope you husband realizes what a wonderful person you are and that you are happy togehter.

Well, yes, I do have contact with mental health providers. On a regular basis; like most bipolar persons, I find having my meds adjusted is a necessary thing. In fact, in order to get this surgery done, I had to be seen by two different individuals, a psychotherapist and a psychiatrist.

I have never been diagnosed as being a hypochondriac. ADHD, bipolar, agrophobic, yes, but not a hypochondriac. Probably because I have never been the one who diagnoses my physical problems in the first place--they are usually found on accident when I go in for more normal things like sore throats. From what I have heard of hypochondriacs, they do a lot of their own diagnosing. Frankly, I don't want to know any more bad news and I don't go looking for any.

As far as the abilities of my doctors, I have been referred to the doctors either by my husband's insurance companies or personal referrals by friends. I check them out online prior to making appointments, to verify their credentials. None of my doctors are country bumpkin doctors; I know those when I see them, after having had Jessica on the Navajo reservation in Arizona--and seeing what passed for a doctor back there at that time.

When several doctors come to the same conclusions, several who have never, ever met, then there is little room for me to question their usually similar diagnoses. Some conclusions have been mildly different, but most are usually the same. Dismal.

It is odd, my sister came to the same conclusion as you did--until she saw me at my father's memorial. Then she saw that my hands were not pink, but bluish (from bad circulation), and that I looked older than any of my sisters, even though I am the youngest. Since she was in hospital administration when she was in the Air Force and her husband is a physical therapist, she knew what she was seeing. One of my other sisters is a nurse; she had already acknowledged that I had inherited the worst of both sets of genes from my parents--since every one of my diseases has shown up in either my mom or dad--and in my sisters to varying degrees. I guess as the youngest, the load was dropped on me.

As for my lap-band, I was very lucky to have the pre-op work-up done. Because now I have been found to have lung nodules in my right lung. Originally thought to be only one after the pre-op x-ray, the CT scan found two more, all three on the right side. At least this mess was caught very early. Same shit, different day....